Kendrick Lamar’s “We Cry Together” was released in May 2022 on his fifth studio album, “Mr. Morale & The Big Steppers.” The song provides insight into the relationship between a black woman and a black man, particularly the couple of Kendrick Lamar and Taylour Paige who have a heated argument that ends in sexual reconciliation.
“We Cry Together” reflects marital issues in America and exemplifies why divorce rates are back on the rise and being single is more popular than ever.
Intro
Oh, oh, oh
Oh, oh, oh
Hold on to each other
Hold on to each other
This is what the world sounds like
According to Rap Genius, Whitney Alford, Lamar’s wife, and Florence Welch are harmoniously singing the intro, a Welch sample. Romantic couples should stick together through their trials and tribulations because that is what love is. The ethos of marriage includes couples staying together through health problems and financial hardship. This can create emotional and mental distress for each individual in the relationship and possibly be a contributing factor in domestic violence cases.
Interlude
Oh, wow, okay
You got me fucked up
Fuck you, fuck you
This is how the song starts with an interlude of how Lamar and Paige start their passionate argument. With the use of cuss words such as “fuck”, the song symbolizes how passionate a domestic argument can be. Additionally, the lyrics surrounding that specific word shows the couple is experiencing communication problems which leads to verbal abuse.
Verse 1
I swear, I’m tired of these emotional-ass, ungrateful-ass bitches (Shut the fuck up)
Unstable-ass, confrontational-ass dumb bitches
You wanna bring a nigga down, even when I’m tryna do right
We could go our separate ways right now, you could move on with your life, I swear to God
Fuck you, nigga, you love a pity party, I won’t show up
Always act like your shit don’t stink, motherfucker, grow up (Man, fuck you)
Forever late for shit, won’t buy shit, sit around and deny shit(Man)
Fuck around on a side bitch, then come fuckin’ up my shit
What? Fuckin’ up yo’ shit? You must be bleedin’ and some more shit
Bitch, I don’t know shit, fuck yo’ feelings, you on some ho shit
See, I don’t know why you likе playin’ mind games with me (Mind games, man, c’mon, bro, likе, God)
Bitch, I ain’t slow nor ditsy, I know when you bein’ distant (Come on, dawg)
I know when you fake busy get out yo’ feelings and miss me with that reverse psychology
Man, bitch, you trippin’, who got you that Rollie chain?
And who put that car in my name?
What you think? I’ma kiss yo’ ass?
Nah, nigga, you fuckin’ lame
First, Lamar utters how tired he is of women who are not pleasant to be around, as Paige would use expletives towards him. He vouches for them to mutually move on from their relationship due to her unpleasantness.
Yes, he is playing the victim card, which Paige alludes to in the next lyrics where she says “Fuck you, nigga, you love a pity party.” She doesn’t acknowledge him because she feels he is not taking responsibility for his actions. She says he is always late for events that matter to her and he won’t buy her things.
These lyrics show gift-giving is one of her top love languages. Couples must connect through their love languages to feel that the person is loved. This is why he describes her as very unstable, confrontational, emotional and ungrateful.
Conventional wisdom would say she tries to push Lamar to see the error of his ways, but he may see it as her trying to disgrace his character depending on the tone she uses. When that happens, is her tone met with anger?
Due to the lack of emotional security in the relationship, she may think that he is giving that security to another woman as the only reason why he is doing what he is doing. “Fuck around on a side bitch, then come fuckin’ up on my shit.” She feels like he is unpleasant to be around too.
Then, Lamar expresses how confused he is about her accusations of having an affair, in simpler terms. Cleverly, he uses her lyrics literally to describe the couple engaging in sexual intercourse hence the lyrics, “You must be bleedin’.” He confirms his confusion by saying “Bitch, I don’t know shit, fuck yo feelings.”
Contextually, she feels Lamar is playing mind games because of how distant he is from her. She can sense his alienation from her, even as he claims he bought her a “rollie chain.” The reason for his distance is due to the unresolved tension between the couple. “… miss me with that reverse psychology,” adds to how she thinks Lamar is playing mind games with her too. He bought her a rollie chain to show his affection towards her in the past, which speaks to her love language, but he doesn’t acknowledge her feelings.
“Man, bitch you trippin, who got you that rollie chain? And who put that car in my name? What you think? I’ma kiss yo’ ass? Nah, nigga you lame,” is another lyric that symbolizes the problem between the two. He’s not listening to her or acknowledging her feelings has shows no effort to try to understand her perspective. The biggest red flag is him asking her if she thinks he’s going to kiss her ass for getting him a car. Merriam-Webster defines the idiom “kissing ass” as an informal way of doing something for someone to be liked, which is the complete opposite of what a healthy relationship looks like between a couple.
Chorus
You know what? Fuck you, bitch (Fuck you, nigga)
Nah, fuck you, bitch (Nah, fuck you, nigga)
Fuck you, bitch (Nah, fuck you, nigga)
Nah, fuck you, bitch (Fuck you, nigga)
Fuck you, bitch (Fuck you, nigga)
Fuck you (Fuck you), fuck you (Fuck you)
Fuck you (Fuck you)
Fuck you, nigga
Fuck you, bitch (Nah, fuck you)
The chorus, like the other choruses in the song, is self-explanatory. Paige and Lamar are just curing each other due to the perceivable hate they have for each other.
Verse 2
Wastin’ my time and energy tryna be good to you
Lost friends, family, gained more enemies ’cause of you
Bitches starin’ at me at Zara, hoes scratchin’ my cars up
Shoulda followed my mind in ’09 and just moved to Georgia
Oh, what, that’s my fault now? Bitch, you power trippin’ or guilt trippin’? (Okay)
I held your ass down
You just kept me down, that’s a big difference (Man)
Stressin’ myself tryna figure why I’m not good enough
Goin’ to church, prayin’ for you, searchin’ for good in us
Lil’ dick-ass nigga that’s tryna go big
But you was suckin’ this dick though
Well, shit, I shoulda sucked his
What you say?
I shoulda found a bigger dick, man, bitch, get the fuck out my face
Oh, what, you mad?
Shut up, bitch, you got me fucked up today, on God
Ah-ha, you mad, lil’ feelings is shot
Go text that raggedy bitch and tell her you all that she got
Man, what bitch?
Let her know you packin’ yo’ shit and gotta move by the first
Man, give me these fuckin’ keys
Give me my keys, I’ma be late for work
Fuck yo’ job, today gon’ be the day you walk to that bitch
Give me my fuckin’ keys
Nah, I like you parked in that bitch
Give me my keys, bro
On God, you ain’t gettin’ these keys
Give me my fucking keys
Ah, now you mad at me, I got you hollerin’ for nothin’
I do the same when we fuckin’
Act like that pussy ain’t loose
I’d rather act like I’m cummin’
I’d rather fuck off the juice, fuck you talkin’ ’bout?
I’d rather fuck on your cousin
Bitch, you said you gon’ fuck who?
You heard me, nigga, it’s nothing (Alright)
Taylour Paige feels like she has wasted her time and energy in trying to keep their relationship stable even though it seemed like her family and friends were against it. She even had the opportunity for a change of scenery that she passed up because of it. Lamar even alludes to how it is her fault for feeling this way as he states in the lyrics, “Oh, what that’s my fault now? Bitch, you power trippin’ or guilt trippin?”
Although, he also expresses she held him back too, but doesn’t go into detail like her. She doesn’t acknowledge his feelings in return. She constantly questioned herself in the relationship which raises the following questions:
- When did she start to feel this way?
- Why didn’t you listen to your friends and family?
- Why him?
Then, she proceeds to disrespect him and tease him in an immature way with the talk of his genitalia. Again, she mentions for him to “Go text that raggedy bitch and tell her you all she got,” alluding to Lamar being distant from her due to his scandal. Lamar doesn’t know what she is talking about.
Taylour Paige is delusional and tells Lamar to tell his “other woman” to “Let her know you packin’ yo shit and gotta move by the first.” Childishly, Lamar takes her car keys which prevents her from going to work and they go on to one-up each other with insults. They are hurt and project their hurt onto each other because they are miserable. As the saying goes, “misery loves company.”
Verse Three
I don’t even know why I fuck with you
I’ll be damned if I stuck with you
Changed my number, I’m duckin’ you, bitch
Bitch, whatever is comfortable
Shit, this the type of shit couples do?
Shoulda thought about cuffin’ you, bitch
Nigga, you dirty and you broke
Ho, you goofy and gullible, fuck you talkin’ ’bout?
Mm-mm, the insecurities you got, won’t mind-fuck me
Womanizer, got no affection from yo’ mama, I see
Don’t speak on my mama, the fuck is yo’ problem, bitch?
That bitch don’t like me anyways
Bitch, she gave you the Honda, fuck you
And used that shit to throw it in my face (Man, hol’ on, bro)
Find it funny you just can’t apologize (This bitch, dawg)
Egotistic, narcissistic, love, you’re all lies (Bro)
See, you the reason why strong women fucked up
Why they say it’s a man’s world, see, you the reason for Trump
(You crying, bro?)
You the reason, we overlooked, underpaid, under-booked, under shame
If you look, I don’t speak, then I’m called on my name (Hah…)
I am flawed, I am pained, never yours, I remained (Come on, bro)
You the reason bitches start fuckin’ with bitches when they change
You the reason bitches start callin’ y’all bitches ’cause y’all useless
(Alright)
You the reason Harvey Weinstein had to see his conclusion
You the reason
R. Kelly can’t recognize that he’s abusive
Man, shut the fuck up, we all know you still playin’ his music
Said I’m tired of these emotional-ass, ungrateful-ass bitches
Fake innocent, fake feminist, stop pretendin’
Y’all sentiments ain’t realer than what you defendin’
(Here he go, shut the fuck up)
It’s a split decision, broads like you and real victims (Look at you, look at you)
Let’s talk the truth (Okay), women in general just can’t get along (Explain, nigga)
Hmm, when Tash got a man, you didn’t pick up the phone (Explain, nigga)
Uh-uh, when Nate got a job, you said you stayin’ home (Explain)
Oh, why R&B bitches don’t feature on each other songs then?
What the fuck is you talkin’ ’bout?
Never mind, bitch, I’m walkin’ out
Whatever, nigga, I’m off you now
Yo’ evil ass kept me well in doubt
Pussy nigga, best watch your mouth
Pussy and mouth is all you got
Lay this pussy back on the couch
Doggie style, then you get on top
They talk back and forth to each other questioning their relationship, which is a healthy start in determining whether they will remain together or not. However, they are still insulting each other. “Womanizer, got no affection from yo’ mama i see.” Again, she is alluding to him cheating on her with another woman and even speaks about his mother whom she doesn’t like. This is the first time the audience gets a hint of Lamar’s family being against his relationship with Paige. Paige wants Lamar to apologize which he doesn’t. This confirms he doesn’t acknowledge her feelings.
Then, she proceeds to call him out for the reason why “strong women fucked up/ Why they say it’s a mans world, you the reason for Trump/ You the reason we overlooked, underpaid, underbooked, under shame.”
She just wants accountability and ties her relationship problems to the misogyny in America. However, wouldn’t strong women leave this toxic situation instead of staying? Lamar references this sentiment with the lyrics, “Fake innocent, fake feminist, stop pretendin. It’s a split decision, broads like you and real victims.” By real victims, he means victims of domestic violence or emotional abuse. They are both insulting each other so they are both the victims of emotional abuse. He then proceeds to generalize women and express opinions about them.
After all the mayhem, Paige and Lamar go on to have sexual intercourse which leads into the outro by Kendrick Lamar’s real-life partner, Whitney Alford.
Outro
Stop tap-dancing around the conversation
What is the conversation that should be had? There are a myriad of questions Taylour Paige and Kendrick Lamar should ask each other to go into a healthy place in their relationship such as:
- What can I do better to keep this relationship healthy?
- How can I make you emotionally secure?
- How long have you been feeling this way?
- Why did you fall in love with me?
- Do you love me?
- When did you start feeling this way?
They should end this conversation with an apology.
Why should this song matter to you?
Divorce rates increased steadily from 2021 to 2022. Conversely, divorce rates decreased from 2010 to 2021. Throughout the couple’s toxic dialogue, they stayed together. Could this be a contributing reason why suicide has been a leading factor in youth today? The quality of family functions and relationships may be a significant contextual factor in why young people are more at risk of suicide or suicidal ideation, according to a study published in the Indian Journal of Psychological Medicine.
Will divorce rates increase over the next 10 years because Gen Z does not value marriage over their own individual happiness? Or will more people not get into relationships if they are unhappy and not stay in toxic ones? A piece from FiveThirtyEight confirms this idea as more Americans than seemingly ever are satisfied with being single.
Is this good for society or not? Will people be happier if they avoid long-term relationships?
Conclusion
How many of our parents are divorced? Are they currently amicable with each other? How has their relationship affected your psyche? “We Cry Together” serves as a cautionary tale about what could happen in a toxic relationship which involves constant verbal fighting. What’s the point of being in a relationship when it costs ones peace of mind?
A profile of single adults in the U.S. by the Pew Research Center found a full half are satisfied with being on their own. Happiness over everything should be all people’s motto. If your partner doesn’t compliment you then being single is the best option.
Featured image: Photo by Dorel Gnatiuc on Unsplash
Edited by: James Sutton
